After Hours Page 2

UTAH: Remember, I did all this because, for some reason, I was born with a freaking lifelong obsession to write jokes for employees of the CIA

UTAH: I had no idea what the heck you all did. I was eight years old. I don't even remember how I found out about the CIA.

UTAH: One day, I woke up and said, “I want to write jokes that would make CIA employees laugh. But only they will be able to understand them.”

UTAH: I'll tell you the first lesson I taught myself when writing jokes for you all

UTAH: My first rule was that you have to be psychotically professional and clean.

UTAH: I mean, you don't even fully understand.

UTAH: So the real ones, I know you're watching.

UTAH: Let me tell you what it means to be psychotically clean, OK?

UTAH: What's the worst part about being CIA

UTAH: Being Correct

UTAH: Why is that the worst part?

UTAH: Because they don't want you to be.

UTAH: I know about the star wall, but let's talk about making a career wall

UTAH: It's for everyone whose careers were killed because they were correct.

UTAH: It would cover every square inch of this place

UTAH: It would be a black suit and tie, but it could be customized in a unique way.

UTAH: Up to the recipient.

UTAH: Let's talk Vladamir Putin

APPEARING: Utah1